Tuesday, August 17, 2010

just wait....

Ok sorry that i am just now getting to this blog again- life got in my way... ok so girls and guys- I said from the start that i wanted to be honest. and that means sharing my story. I feel passionate about telling girls and guys to value thier virginity and to wait till they are married... I didnt and i wish i would of. Let me share some of the story about it and then we will see what God has to say about it.

June 6, 2007 Union on College Campus
I met a guy named *Bob* we had met on yahoo messenger and he was a friend of a firend. so i didnt think anything different. after a few weeks of talking we decied to met up and have sex. I was mad at God and my family. So June 6th came and i walked in the door of the union with red flags a blaze- ignored all of them- I knew what was going to go down... let me state i was 17 he was 21. we met and after 45 minutes we parted ways never to see each other again. I came home and cried myself to sleep. i was devastated that i had done something like this. no matter how i tried to hid it my personlity changed and i wasnt the same. my youth leaders noticed when i wouldnt let them hug me. i told 1 person a friend at camp who sat with me when i told my leader. I held it in other than that for a year and a half. slept with night lights and teddy bears and cried myself to sleep so many times. I sat down in my preachers wife office and told her everything a year and a half later. the damage was done i was miserable still... i sat in a local coffee house and knew i had to tell my youth leaders wife. I told her and she said that they knew but wanted me to tell them. I sat down to write this blog on the 2 yr anniversary but i couldnt do it. I am still healing. I wish i wouldnt of done it. i told people who believed me but what still makes it hurt is the fact that my parents think that i am lying about it. I want to state that i am blessed that i didnt get any stds or get pregnat but i know that was God watching over me. I am still healing and i know that it will take time and Gods healing hand. I keep praying that he will use this expericence to help others who are thinking it doesnt matter. when it happends you get emotional attached to that person just like it says in the bible the two become one it means it.

I had the read flags going off - i could of turned around - i could of called friends, i could of said no but i didnt. Gods word is very clear about this subject - it says to flee from all sexual imorality .... that means pre-martial sex, porn, sexting, and phone sex, chatrooms, and cam shows. trust me when i say that i have done most in this imorality- but from here on out to the day i get married i will be a born again christian. meaning i will wait to have sex... i know God forgives and that he loves me. Girls - the way we dress does affect guys hormoes. guys - no means no! if we say no then dont push.. rape is not love. girls and guys if u feel pressued leave , call a friend, take a bus a cab get out of the situation.

love you all and pray that my story will make you all think

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